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If you have a question about: a well known Christian author/leader, a Bible passage, an aspect of theology, a current issue in Christianity, or how to biblically handle a family, life, or church situation, comment below (I’ll hold all questions in queue {unpublished} for a future edition of The Mailbag) or send me an e-mail or private message. If your question is chosen for publication, your anonymity will be protected.

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I have a dear friend who has a daughter who had two children out of wedlock and then married. Her daughter, who is now 18, has a child out of wedlock and is pregnant again by the same guy. Seems she is following in her mother’s footsteps. Should I attend the baby shower?

Obviously, sex outside of marriage is a sin, which, I’m sure, is why you’re in a quandry about whether or not to attend the shower. You may be wondering if your attendance will send the message that you approve of the sin of adultery or fornication. On the other hand, the sin itself is over and done with. Perhaps you’re wanting to show this young lady grace in order to find an opportunity to share the gospel with her. These are both perfectly valid, biblical considerations.

Since I don’t personally know all of the people involved or all of the details of the situation, and there’s nothing in the Bible about whether or not to attend showers for babies conceived out of wedlock, I don’t think it would be wise for me to give you a “Go” or “Don’t go” answer. But I would like to offer some thoughts that may help you as you make your decision.

As I mentioned, the Bible is silent on what to do in this situation. It would not be a sin for you to attend, nor would it be a sin not to attend. This is an issue of conscience and wisdom.

First, if you’re married, be sure to discuss this with your husband. Or, if you’re a young lady living under your parents’ authority, talk with them about it. Always obey God’s word by submitting to your husband or to your parents’ authority if these apply in your life.

Ask your pastor, Sunday School teacher, or a godly friend for insight and counsel.

Ask God to give you wisdom, trust that He will, and then make the most godly decision you can. James 1:5 says:

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

Does the young lady in question seem repentant over her actions? Are she and the baby’s father getting married? Does she seem determined to flaunt her sin and continue in rebellion? These are some factors that may influence your decision.

I think what it boils down to is this: How can you best represent Christ in this situation and serve as a godly influence to this young lady? Whatever you decide, continue to be kind to her, love her, pray for her, offer to help with the baby, and share the gospel with her as the Holy Spirit provides the opportunity.

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