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PT Misc Memes

Dear Pop Theology-
I’m always seeing memes on social media that sound kind of “Christian-ish,” but I’ve got a funny feeling about them. Enclosed is my latest collection. Can you help me out? What’s your take on these?

Signed,
Facebook Frannie

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Dear Frannie-
I’m always down with helping a hermeneutical homie keep it real on the F.B. Here’s the 4-1-1 on the pix you laid down:

 FirstLastWhazzup with that? Might as well do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around, ‘cuz that’s what it’s all about on this one. Jesus Himself says the EXACT OPPOSITE of this, feel me? Check it:

So the last will be first, and the first, last.
Matthew 20:16

And he sat down and called the twelve. And he said to them, “If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.”
Mark 9:35

Anybody who puts God first will be looking for the last spot in line. Word. Read it.

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Yo Dawg, how do you know that, hmmm, you anonymous meme-maker, you? You don’t know me, you don’t know whether or not I’m saved, and you don’t know what’s going on in my life. Maybe everything is going great today and it’s all going to go down the toilet tomorrow. (That’s what happened to Job, after all.) Plus, how do you know what God has planned for me? Can you read God’s mind? No? Then step off and stop making blasphemous memes where you pretend like you can.

For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?
Romans 11:34

550439_10151014588895280_1263179_nOh heck to the no. Another poser thinking he knows me and my deets, only this one is psychic to the angels, not God. How do you know the angels say “it’s over”? You must not be tight with any angels because if you were, you’d know that saying anything is “over” ain’t their turf. And since when did angels test anybody? And where does the Bible say that re-posting something on Facebook is a test? And how do you know the angels are going to fix two things? Why not one? Why not 47?  How do you know they’re going to be big things? Why not small? Why not venti? Like I said, a poser looking for his 15 minutes.

The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”
Job 1:21b

10377542_10152880567466204_2282848201163701097_nSo, if you do the thing, you get the bling, right? Show me the money? Really? Slip me some Scripture, bro. Where’s that at? Christianity ain’t no tit for tat, quid to the pro quo. God doesn’t owe you anything special for going through a battle. You’re a soldier, a slave. That’s your job. Does God bless us? Fo shizzle. But blessings aren’t a payoff for active duty. We got our pay on the front end. God has already blessed us infinitely beyond what we deserve by saving our sorry, sinful carcasses out of hell. He blesses us daily with His love, listening to our prayers, forgiveness, provision for our needs, comfort, strength, mercy, and so much more. Expecting bling for what’s already in your job description? Oh no you di-int.

“Does he thank the servant because he did what was commanded? So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.’”
Luke 17:9-10

There it is, Frannie. You pick up what I’m layin’ down? Keep your nose in the Book and your eyes on the prize, and remember, Jesus ain’t your homeboy, He’s your King.

For Relz,
Pop

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